MARRIAGES ARE FAILING ALL OVER THE PLACE – WHY?
Thought the accuracy of the data is difficult to evaluate, divorce statistics in America are staggering. Check out these numbers*:
First Marriage 45%-50% end in divorce
Second Marriage 60%-67% end in divorce
Third Marriage 70%-73% end in divorce
Think of all the couples that you know. Half of them are doomed to divorce? It doesn’t seem true, but it is.
I have never been a big stats guy. I am of the general opinion that if you torture the numbers they will tell you anything you want. However, these statistics are so overwhelming that they deserve further inquiry.
As with many things in life, I believe communication is the key. Couples that show a continued pattern of negative communication patterns are prime candidates to fall into the category above and become a statistic themselves. Negative communication characteristics include:
• outward displays of anger
• a general inability to describe feelings
• unwillingness to discuss feelings
• invalidate the feelings of your spouse
• difficulty or refusal to listen attentively
• lack of verbal support for the desires of your spouse
• general pessimism
It is said that a pessimist is one who make difficulties out of opportunities and an optimist is one who make opportunities out of difficulties. There is no better Petri dish of this principle than marriage and divorce.
If your spouse (or you) consistently exhibit these characteristics, the odds are not in your favor. Mental Health Professionals agree that these troublesome communication patterns granulate relationships to dust over time. Even more disappointing to note, is that Mental Health Professionals further tend to agree that this type of behavior is well engrained in individuals by the time they are married and are unlikely to be altered without serious commitment and professional assistance.
As a Flower Mound, Denton County, Texas family law attorney, I have seen plenty of evidence to support this as truth. I am finding more and more commonly that adultery and family violence are less and less to blame for marriage dissolution, but that people are more and more just failing to get along with one another and just can’t take it anymore.
Chad D. Elsey
Famous marriage quote of the day – “She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.”
*accuracy of data cannot be reasonably determined